Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize