If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize