FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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