people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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