he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
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There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
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Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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