Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize