I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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