If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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