Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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