I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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