five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize