Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
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Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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