Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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