Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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