I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Your penis caused this!
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