I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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