so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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