I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize