I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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