I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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