it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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