I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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