I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
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Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
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and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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