And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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