Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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