i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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