Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize