I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize