remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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