I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize