loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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