based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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