God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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