She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize