New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just blew my weed a kiss
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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