I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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