Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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