You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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