no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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