It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she looked like the before picture.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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