I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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