i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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