I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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