In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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