She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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