i permit you to call me
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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