I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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