the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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