that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize