To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
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So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
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i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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