I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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